Sunday Reflection

As I sit with my coffee, Cowboy Junkies, and thoughts early this morning, I am not only pondering over just this recent week, but the past two weeks and all of the ups and downs that came with them. My birthday celebration with my husband and friends kicked things off so perfectly, I felt nothing but love and happiness, then last weekend I hurtled into a low quite unlike anything I can recall experiencing. The root of this low was based on something within my professional life, something completely ridiculous and based solely on one person’s unjustified perception – but it impacted me, severely.

Cowboy Junkies

I found myself last Saturday morning curled up into a ball on the couch, near the verge of tears and I couldn’t understand why I didn’t want to leave this place. I was trying to fight off the feelings, but they were so overwhelming. I was genuinely overcome with sadness, and while I had every right to feel this way and then some, it was overtaking me far more than I was comfortable with. I didn’t want to write, I didn’t want to eat, and I definitely did not want to work out. But after several hours of this gloom and doom, I forced myself out into the garage to at least try to muster up the strength to do a bit of weight lifting, because I knew it would help…and help, it did. It didn’t miraculously turn things around, but it did help me turn the corner. It took a few days before I was able to fully shake things off, but by Wednesday of this week, the outlook was much brighter.

I’ll have a large hormonal shift with a side of work stress and a small anxiety, please.

I told my husband that it made me question things about myself – was this the start of some hormonal shift within me now that I’m 42? It’s called perimenopause, right? Is that even a real thing? Or, is it some sort of mild bout of depression, or just something related to the anxiety that I’ve carried with me in my life? I’ll say this, my personal life is incredibly happy and pleasant, and typically my professional one is pretty okay, but it’s not without it’s serious stresses, and I’m not sure if the stress is just starting to finally wear on me, or if it’s one of the above possibilities. Maybe it’s just a combo – I’ll have a large hormonal shift with a side of work stress and a small anxiety, please. Whatever happened, I’m not sure this is something I need to be overly concerned with as it was one bad episode, but it definitely caught my attention.

I’ll make a back alley deal to score some endorphins any day of the week…

So what are my next steps here? Number one, I’m due for my annual visit with the OB/GYN, which is always a party, but a perfect setting to talk about hormones. Side note: I hate hormones. Next up, meditation. I’ve tried to jump on the meditation train in the past to help manage stress, I bought the pillow and found a space where I could zone out and develop my mad meditation skills. But after a week or two, the pillow starts to collect dust and the only time I zone out is when I watch a mind-numbing episode of the Real Housewives flavor of the week. I’m challenging myself to take meditation more seriously as I have this sneaking suspicion that I’m going to need it. Finally, I’m left with exercise. I’ll make a back alley deal to score some endorphins any day of the week – those suckers are worth it, but they don’t always come easily. But hard work pays off, right?

Here’s to hoping that the hormone talk is not yet necessary, and that the rest of my self-prescribed treatment does the trick and keeps things in check. Only a little over a week in and already 42 is hard.

Some worthwhile reads (somewhat) related to this Sunday’s reflections:

Feeling Not Quite Yourself – So, perimenopause might be an actual thing.

10% Happier – A book by Dan Harris that I greatly enjoyed a couple of years ago, and one I plan to revisit.

Oh no, Not You Again – Okay, so totally unrelated to my post above, but a blogger that I’ve grown to love reading, and her latest post took me a bit out of my own head when the mood needed to be lightened up around here. This is a fun and sometimes dirty blog, in a very southern Carrie Bradshaw sort of way.




Sunday Reflection

Being a morning person is one my favorite things about myself. I realize that most people like to sleep in on the weekends, but there is nothing quite like waking up with the sunrise and knowing that I have a full and beautiful day ahead of me. I want to squeeze every drop out of the weekend that I can and Sunday mornings might just be my favorite. I try to sneak quietly out of bed so as not to wake my sleeping husband, who prefers to sleep in, and today was successful. Before even firing up the coffee pot, I took a moment out to enjoy the way the rising sun filters through our home.


This was undoubtedly a morning for reflection, and one of my favorite ways to enjoy moments like this is with a record…and coffee. There must always be coffee.


I am grateful today that despite the difficult time I had last week, it’s long over and I am setting my intention for a successful and pleasant week ahead. I know that it may not be perfect and it will carry it’s own challenges, but I will face them and then let them go.

I am also grateful for pushing myself to go to Crossfit yesterday. I knew that I would look back on yesterday’s post and think I was being ridiculous, and yes, my anxiety about the situation was ridiculous, but it was very real. I am proud of myself for facing it though, and I think from this point on I won’t just be working out in my home gym.

Finally, I am grateful for these heavenly chocolate coconut macaroons. These qualify as breakfast, right?



Enjoy your Sunday and all the good things that it will bring. Also, if you can score some macaroons, I highly suggest it.