This is going to sound silly, but I am nervous about heading back to my Crossfit gym this morning. As I’ve mentioned before, I’ve been away from it for quite some time after stepping away to deal with a minor injury and then just never going back other than to the occasional open gym. I was terrified the first time I went, and it scared me nearly every morning after that for a few weeks until I started to finally settle in – but every single time I faced the fear and I left feeling so empowered and proud of myself. I guess I would even liken the feeling to a high of sorts. But here I sit this morning, nervous about stepping back into that space, which I know is really ridiculous.
It is not a matter of being fearless. The fear is sometimes constant, but it’s about moving forward regardless of the fear. Courage means feeling the fear and doing it anyway. -Gillian Anderson
I committed to joining in a partner WOD (Workout of the Day for those who aren’t familiar with the lingo) with my husband this morning, as it’s a special one as a memorial and fundraiser for a dear member who was lost tragically just a few weeks ago. I want to go, I want to show my support, but why on earth am I feeling so much trepidation? I know I’ll have to scale the workout, which is fine, and I know that it’s only 13 minutes of work and it’s with my husband, so what’s the big deal? I wonder sometimes if I have a touch of social anxiety, which seems even more odd given that I am a very social person. But every so often, I feel like I clam up inside when I’m faced with the unknown. It wouldn’t seem like this situation presents too many unknowns, though, so who the F knows what my deal is?
Here is what I do know: I am going, I will face my fear and I’ll leave feeling amazing. So let’s do this.